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  • InLifestyle

    What Marie Kondo Gets Wrong About Style

    Marie Kondo is taking the world by storm — again. First, it was with her book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. Now, it’s with the brand new Netflix show. Both forms of entertainment entail, well, tidying up. Cleaning out your kitchen, garage, and even your closet in a Kondo-like way that entails throwing everything on the floor and folding in a very specific way.

    But Marie Kondo’s idea of keeping items that “spark joy” is by far the most memorable part of both the book and the show. The Japanese organizing queen tells people to hold every item individually and see if it “sparks joy.” If it does, you keep it. If it doesn’t you thank it for being in your life and put it in the giveaway pile.

    While the idea is great in theory, I see it as being extremely flawed. No item can hold your joy. In fact, as Brooke Castillo, a brilliant life-coach and the host of The Life Coach School Podcast, explains, joy is an emotion inside of you while pleasure is what comes from an outside source. Basically, you are in control of your joy and pleasure is an outside force. That’s what I think Marie Kondo gets wrong when it comes to style.

    Clothing does not hold or spark joy. You control your joy. Giving that kind of power to a clothing item is dangerous. It gives the clothing power over you. If that item sparks joy in you, you’ll never want to give it away. Because now you have an emotional attachment to it. You are stuck thinking that you owe you joy (even if it’s just in the tiniest sense) to that item. In reality, clothing will never give you that feeling.

    You give yourself the feeling of joy.

    By all means, let your clothing give you pleasure. It should! Finding your personal style should bring a great sense of satisfaction. I am a huge proponent of finding pleasure in your sense of style. Feeling that sense of pleasure in your personal style is how you know that you got it right. That you’ve found the style that best matches you.

    The problem is when we confuse pleasure for joy, which is what I believe that Marie Kondo has done. Like I stated before, pleasure comes from the outside while joy comes from within. The Collins English Dictionary says that “a pleasure is an activity, experience, or aspect of something that you find very enjoyable or satisfying.”

    “Seeking too much pleasure outside of yourself can be at the expense of joy,” Brooke Castillo says. “So many of us try to compensate for our lack of joy with pleasure.”

    My best friend was at one point in time Kondo-ized. She would walk around the thrift store with me, holding onto items and seeing if they brought her joy. Spoiler alert: a lot of things brought her joy. She was no closer to finding her personal style and walked out spending a pretty penny. While she thought that she had joy, she really just had an abundance of pleasure.

    I by no means think that my friend was trying to compensate her lack of joy with pleasure. She was, however, confusing the two. She got a great feeling from the items that she was holding, but it wasn’t joy — it was pleasure. My friend found an aspect of the clothing satisfying, but she would need to — and does — create her own joy.

    Finding your personal style is no easy feat. It takes time and patience, so it only make sense that people would want to announce that something “sparks joy” to make things a little easier to hold on to. But I believe that it’s a cop-out. You are selling yourself short by looking for joy outside yourself. Instead, build a wardrobe that is so spot on that you can actually see yourself in every single outfit. The real you. The truest form of you.

    Because the joy is already inside you. You don’t have to put it on every morning.

    I do agree with one aspect that Marie Kondo teaches though — respecting and honoring your clothing. The act of valuing an object is important to me. Do I thank my clothing every time I put them on? No. But I do honor them enough to mend my clothing items when it tears, instead of throwing it into the landfill. That’s one lesson that I can definitely get behind.

    So next time that your holding an item in your hands, don’t ask yourself if it brings you joy. Manifest that joy inside yourself, put on the outfit, and see if you can see the joy in yourself. That’s the only way to master your style.

    xx.

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  • InLifestyle, Sustainable Fashion

    Here’s Every Single Reason That I Chose To Make A Minimalist Closet

    I sat here for a while trying to decide how I wanted to introduce my minimal wardrobe journey. Did I want to jump right into how I started cleaning my closet out? Tell you about the brands I want to keep? Maybe the ones that I want to toss? There are so many aspect that I want to share. But instead, I decided to start with why I chose to make a minimalist closet. Then I realized that it wasn’t just one thing. The decision is a whole culmination or my life and what I’ve learned while living purposefully.

    As you might already know, I started my journey to live more purposefully at the beginning of 2017. The journey first led me to a year of only thrift shopping, which taught me so much about my own personal style. Then came stocking up on sustainable brands and exploring what Fair Trade truly means. Halfway through that, I decided that I wanted to downsize.

    The first step is to define what a minimalist closet means to me. Some people think that means only having 40 items. Others think that it means a cool ten pieces that go with everything. After taking a deep, hard look at what others have done and how I life my life, I decided on a goal.

    My goal for my minimalist closet is to only have what I wear.

    Boom. Simple as that. I knew from the very beginning that I didn’t want to set a strict number of items. That seems too much like a punishment for me. I’m going to walk through exactly how I started my minimalist closet journey in another post. This one is all about the why. Because no matter what you do in life, there should always be a reason.

    minimalist closetGuys, I’m going to warn you right here. There are a lot of reason why I decided to make a minimalist closet. It’s not like one day I just woke up and said, “hey, it would be really fun to give all my clothes away!” My entire life was leading up to this moment. I wholeheartedly believe that. So there are a lot of reasons on this list, so grab a coffee and buckle up.

    I care about this planet.

    It’s that simple, my friends. I give a shit about the waste in this world. Thinking about how many items of clothing that I have bought, worn a few times, and then thrown away/given up/lost actually makes me nauseous. People throw away an average of 80 pounds of clothing each year. I won’t let that be me.

    Where my money goes should matter.

    Every single penny you spend shows what you believe in. When you are giving your hard-earned $20 to a fast fashion company, you’re saying that you believe in them. Well, I don’t.

    When you have less, you care more.

    Hear me out for a second. When your clothes cost next to nothing, they mean nothing to you. When you work hard for an item that someone else worked hard for, the way you look at clothing will change. You’ll start to read labels, wash on delicate, and hang dry. You will cherish your items.

    I don’t want Rana Plaza to happen ever again.

    If there is even one death from the clothing that I wear, that is too much. Simple as that.

    minimalist closetThe True Cost.

    It’s on Netflix. Watch it.

    I want to be proud of what I look like.

    I would rather invest in a handful of really nice, ethically made items that have a bunch of items that will be out of style in a month. Classic staples will always win, in my book.

    I want to be comfortable in my clothing.

    Gigi Hadid looks great in crop tops, but I do not. Building a minimalist closet makes you appreciate personal style without getting jealous of what someone else is wearing. Fashion doesn’t have to mean being someone you’re not.

    It makes getting ready in the morning a whole lot easier.

    If you’ve ever sat in the middle of piles of clothing and yelled, “BUT I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR!” building a minimalist closet is for you. Having only items that you love in your closet makes life so much fun.

    Trends come and go, but style is forever.

    That one pretty much explains itself.

    Some of my reasons are for the planet, and some of my reasons are selfish. That’s okay. If there’s one thing that I’ve learned since observing, planning, and acting on building a minimalist closet, it’s that everyone has their own reason. The important think is that everyone has a reason. Or, if you’re like me, you have nine.

    Living minimally truly excited me. I feel like it’s the natural next step in my journey, and I’m so happy that you’re here to go along with me. Here’s to all the minimalist closets out there. May we build them, love them, and share them with the world.

    xx.

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  • InLifestyle

    Where I’ve Been & My New Purposeful Home

    Let’s just cut right to the chase here… I’ve been gone for quite a while. I have one very good excuse though…

    I MOVED!

    My boyfriend and I have finally made the move to our very first home. Well, apartment, but we’re ready to turn this one bedroom, blank walled space into a warm, purposeful home.

    Beginnings are hard for me. With my anxiety, I’d rather stay in one place that I know is safe for my entire life. Needless to say, this change was a long time coming. My boyfriend and I waited and then waited some more to find the perfect starting line for us. As soon as I saw #206, I knew it was for us.

    It is nothing glamorous, but it is my happy place. It’s a one bedroom, one bath home with lots of closet space. The walls are fresh, the balcony is ready for plants to be hung, and the bedroom fits a king sized bed while still leaving plenty of room for living. The kitchen is ready to be made a mess and the living room has space for me to roll out my yoga mat.

    But there is one major thing that sold me — the walk in closet. There will be plenty of reasons for my boyfriend and I to argue, but the closet will never be one of them. You know when Carrie Bradshaw walks into the penthouse of her dreams, opens the curtains, and says, “hello, I live here?” Well, that’s exactly what I did when I saw this closet.

    Purposeful Home

    It might not be a necessity for everyone, but, as you probably already guessed, having a place for all my thrift finds was important to me. I wanted to know that I could walk around vintage shops and stock up on all the pieces that spoke to me without having to worry about where to put it.

    I might have been gone from the blog for a while, but I have a whole lot of tales for you. My journey to a purposeful life has only just begun.

    I have been talking a lot about living purposefully, since the beginning of this blog. What I should have been saying was shopping purposefully.

    My new goal is to have a purposeful home. So, while I will still be finding incredible clothing brands and showing off my thrifted outfits, I’m going to add homeware into the mix. What do you guys think? Even just in my first week of living in a new home, I’ve found tons of thrifted decor, secondhand essentials, and ways to make my home eco-friendly. I am so incredibly excited and inspired by the things that I have found.

    Basically, what I’m trying to say is that this space will change a little bit. I will continue to show off my fashion finds, but it will be so much more. I hope that you guys are just as excited as I am. Please let me know what you think!

    xx.

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